From the looks of things, I believe it is time for me to embark on my life long dream of being a professional wrestler. I understand that there will be hardships, a small price for such a hefty award I say! Many have come and gone before me, but unlike them I shall have something that they didn’t have…. a gimmick!
A name of legends
Whats in a name, but everything. My name needs to be strong and enduring, but merciful and Hungarian.
- Barnabas the Guilded Snake
- The Raptor Arm
- The Rotisserier
- The Mangy Assflap
- Jeff Bagwell (thanks Petty)
- Shitting Dick Nipples
- Fernheart of Eagle Rest
- The failed abortion
The gimmick
There are many greater wrestlers out there, they all have great names, they all have talent, but none have gimmicks the likes of mine! It will be something that is recognizable and undoubtedly me.
- After having my lower legs amputated, I could have two pegs legs that blew chili pepper
- I could have a rockford fosgate 10inch sub implanted into my chest and crank out some sick trance music
- 4-5 white doves stuffed into my wrestling briefs and could quickly release them into my opponents face
- I could burn all of my flesh off and die of dehydration
- My gimmick could be that I catapult myself on to the stage, into a vat of acid (only good for one show)
- Drink elephant pee before I begin to wrestle
- Drink my own pee before I begin to wrestle
- Have my opponent pee in my mouth before I begin to wrestle
- Have a bungie cord strapped to myself and the ceiling but play it off like its not there, so when I jump 5 stories straight up people will think I am a for real super hero n shit
- Have 4 ropes tied to all appendages and have them pull me apart before I begin to wrestle
Signature Move
A signature moves defines me as a wrestler and as a man. It cannot be something that has been done before or probably ever will be done.
- The struggling to survive arm flail
- The I live out of my brothers truck head slam
- The trusted walrus
- The shitty dick slam
- The thinning hair dive
- The lifeless ball curl
- The haggled leg break (I break my own leg during this move)
- The leave the fucking building dash (this is where I get paid in advance and get the fuck out)
I really do not know where to start, this all so overwhelming. I suppose I will just sink back into my chair and day dream a little longer. Thanks for listening.
